Romance and the Erotic

Humans are social creatures. We enjoy and thrive in relationships with others, maximising are own happiness by connecting with people who share similar interests, aims and outlooks on life. Most folk aim to have a particular partner, an individual who the are more intimately related to than any other human being. This is what drives many people; the search for their 'other half'. Intertwined with this is a mission to attain pleasure, particularly through the senses. As such, a fine line is drawn on the sexual nature of dating between a union of two people and a fulfillment of animal urges. I fear that the youth of 21st Century Britain are too concerned with the physical aspects and joys of life, thus leading to an over sexualised culture which forces men and women to define themselves and their ways of living by their bedroom activity. This in turn has created an environment where sex is the foundations of relationships, the badge of honour among peers and the ultimate reality. In this article, I aim to demonstrate why I believe such a worldview is detrimental to humanity and the virtuous life.

The reasons why a society may be built on sex are obvious. Patricia Churchland, a philosopher in America, claims the majority of human activity can be summarised by the four F's: Feeding, Fleeing, Fighting and Reproducing. The search for sex is integral to most creatures, and we humans are no exception. As far as pleasure goes, it provides some of the best. It is powerful, raw and back to basics. It thrills, excites, and is memorable. A whole industry has been made out of it, connecting potential partners, aiding the event itself and other such items to support it. Furthermore, music, art and literature has always been permeated by references to the romantic, feeding into fashion and other products. Adverts are filled with attractive people, films with the erotic and entertainment incorporating this most mysterious of activities. It dominates are way of life, with companies, celebrities and friends pointing our desires in the direction of the sensual and sexual. With the 'death of God' (Nietzsche), the abandonment of Christianity and the liberalisation of British culture, the traditional relationship has been usurped by the will to just find physical pleasure wherever possible, particulary romance. People say that we are a secular society: I disagree, because most people seem to worship the ideals and actions of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, beauty, lust and pleasure.

Sex has always been an essential part of human culture. However, for many centuries, Britain had been dominated by other concepts and ideas, such as the divine. With the advent of atheism, the romantic passions of the youth have flourished, becoming an open, normal part of life. Whilst there is nothing intrinsically wrong with sensual pleasure, over indulgence and application, which are promoted by this culture, are dangerous. There are three reasons for this: the well being of the individual and community, the responsibility of each human being and the damage it does to our 'function'.

The life associated with the hedonistic worldview is sex, drugs and rock n roll. Drink and illegal substances go hand in hand with the culture pursuing physical pleasure. When one goes clubbing, one is surrounded by alcohol and dealers, all there to help the 'experience'. It is these places where sex is also an easy option. Whilst sex is not directly connected to the taking of harmful substances, the attitude towards senusal fulfillment is enhanced by the taking of such things. These products are, despite what many will say, detrimental to the well being of people and the community. Nearly half of all violent crimes are caused by over consumption of alcohol. Smoking can cause lung, oral, uterine, liver, kidney, bladder, stomach and cervical cancer, among other problems. Both are highly addictive and force a dependency upon them. They are integral to the hedonists outlook on life, along with a primordial focus on sex. So whilst the pursuit of sex as an ultimate end is not in itself the reason why alcohol and drugs damage people and lives, the culture which promotes physical pleasure is the root of all three.

Furthermore, unprotected sex can have devastating consequences. STIs can be caught, including life rendering diseases such as HIV and AIDS. Other infections are rather unpleasant, and can be quite painful. More drastically, unplanned pregnancies can be caused, potentially shattering a young woman's life through forcing her to raise a child or go through the horrific process of abortion. Neither are ideal. It is just a fact that if people live in a society which encourages a focus on sex, they will be more likely to catch STI's and create unplanned pregnancies, both which should be avoided as far as possible. As such, this hedonistic drive for sex as the foundation of relationships and human activity is harmful.

Secondly, this attitude has molded an atmosphere which promotes avoiding responsibility. In the past, if a man and a woman had a sexual relationship, society expected them to care for each other, think of their partner's well being and take the blame for any negative results of such an affair. However, now that you can sleep with strangers at the flick of a button, there is no need to feel responsible for your actions. The idea that you can get laid with different people as a casual, no strings attached connection implies one does not need to remember nor bare the results of any of the ensuing consequences. If your partner catches an STI from you, what difference does it make? It was only a one time thing anyway. If your partner has to split up with her long term boyfriend, why should you feel guilt about that? You were just two strangers looking for pleasure. If you impregnate her by accident, why should you pay for a mistake? Indeed, with the number of absent fathers rising, it seems apparent this is the mind set of many people in the UK. Unfortunately, the most damage is done to the children, who by rights deserve parents who take full responsibility for creating them. However, seeking for pleasure makes sex an impersonal act, which damages and impacts on relationships, communities and most importantly, children. The lack of emotional connection removes responsibility, key for a philanthropic and well run country. As such, the hedonists view should be abandoned.

Finally, the quest for sensual pleasure can damage our ability to perform our 'function'. This is what Plato (pictured below), perhaps the greatest philosopher of all time, believed. He thought we each had an ability, or purpose, which it was the object of our lives to try and get the best out of. This would require us to restrain our desires to dominate and for pleasure; the man who allows his lust for women to dominate his life will not focus on refining his skill, and thus will be less able than if he had restrained such an urge. Knowledge is architectonic: it orders our actions in a way which will best achieve our function. This, for Plato, is the virtuous life. I am inclined to agree. If a person does not refrain his love of sex or dreams of power, he will not reflect and try to improve his skills nor work hard at refining his abilities. Only if one is totally dedicated to this task can it be achieved. This is the role of knowledge: it helps us know what is good for fulfilling our 'techne'. But if we allow pleasure, not knowledge, to govern how we act, our skills and purposes will not be brought out to their greatest degree, and thus our talents are wasted. The culture which claims a pursuit of sex should dominate the soul can only be to the detriment of our ability to perform our function: it leads to an unbalanced way of action, a disrespect for hard work and focus on improving ourselves as individuals. Employers consistently complain that young people lack the skills necessary for jobs, and it appears to me the radical over sexualisation of British people may be part of it. Thus, this over baring need for sexual activity is harmful to our very purposes and talents, and thus should be abandoned.

In the past, many people have complained that I am trying to impose my morality on them. They complain that I do not have the authority to challenge their actions, that I have no right to infringe or lampoon their desires and I am just a 'moral monster'. However, if they were about to be raped, and I was a bystander willing to help the victim, would they complain if I imposed my morality on the attacker? The point is that it is very easy to relativise morality when it is 'out there', but when it directly affects you, it is quite easy to determine what is right and wrong. As the sexual directive of British society effects not only me but people I hold very close and care about, it is only right I voice my concern and try to persuade others of the dangers they may enter in to. The objectivity of morality is not a major issue here: it is whether my description of it is accurate, which I believe it is.

To conclude, the culture young British people grow up in is one which is directed towards sex and the erotic. This undermines those traditional and good institutions like marriage, love, families. In a previous article, I said I was in love with a girl. However, her hedonistic views, which destroyed her sense of responsibility and working hard at what she excelled at, blew away the enchantment of emotional affection I had been under. And she is not alone. Many share such sentiments among my contemporaries. I have not argued that as a response to this we abolish sex or anything like that: there is nothing wrong with the act by itself. However, the over emphasis on it, the fact it is the foundation of many people's aims and aspirations and its close boundary to transcendent relationships can make it a dangerous and harmful force. I believe it is right the government secure the rights of life, liberty and estate, entailing we should allow those who indulge in lustful pleasure trips to do so. Rather, because it harms the well being of the individual and community, destroys the concept of responsibility and damages our ability to perform our unique function, we should encourage people to reject the hedonistic, sensual seeking worldview our society promotes.