Friendship

I am a very lucky person, as I have lots of great friends. Some are: tall, some are short; some clever, some dim; some extroverts, some inclusive; some musical, some sporty etc. but all of them are special. They are decent people who care about me, and there is no price one can pay for that. I just want to put it on record that I thank them all for what they have done for me, however little it is, as it is truly a gift.

You see, friendship is perhaps what defines us as individuals. What we do is determined by the views, feelings and opinions of our friends, and we try to act in ways which develop our bond of trust and love with them. When we make decisions, we consider what they would do, how to fit in with them and subsequently our own thinking becomes influenced by them. This process is not just one way, for genuine friendship is a two way system, with both participants sharing something with each other in a mutual way. Furthermore, friendship is key to fulfilling what Rousseau calls our  'amour propre', self love, our need to feel valued and respected. Friends provide that, and help satisfy the thing in our nature which makes us tick.

Despite the importance of friends, we often take them for granted. We imagine they always be there for us, making sure we are not in trouble, having a laugh with us and loving us. This can manifest itself in a lack of respect for them, expecting too much of them, not keeping in touch and pushing them too far with our demands. This can leave them disillusioned, annoyed and potentially ruin friendships. It can break the strongest of bonds, and will endanger our very identities.

And yet, we all do it. We all to some degree abuse our trust with our friends. We all expect them to do everything. We all depend on them in a one way system, not the healthy two way one. I speak from experience  about with a very dear friend of mine. When I left Handsworth Grammar School, I left behind a good friend in Joe Hodgson, to name but one. I expected him to be the one to make the effort to keep in touch. And as I put all the burden on him, we have fallen apart. It makes me sad, because we were really good mates. This is just one example of how I should have valued my friend higher. And I ask that all of you do the same.

As the saying goes 'you only miss something when it's gone'. That is the same with friends. But we should not allow that to be the case. We as a society should try harder to treat our friends as we would want them to treat us. We should love our neighbour as ourselves. Its fantastically simple, yet it is so hard to enact. If you appreciate the worth of your friends in defining who you are, and being integral in who you are, I commend you to treat them the best you possibly can.